Husband Caught Cheating Apologizes To Wife on National Newspaper (Photo)

Husband Caught Cheating Apologizes To Wife on National Newspaper (Photo)

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Mario Balotelli Wants a Kiss from the Queen if Italy Beats Costa Rica

Mario Balotelli Wants a Kiss from the Queen if Italy Beats Costa Rica

Italy striker, Mario Balotelli made this cheeky proposal yesterday on his Twitter page and it's gone viral. lol.

Following England’s 2-1 loss to Uruguay on Thursday, their only chance of staying in the World Cup is now in the hands of Balotelli and his fellow teammates. If Italy manages to beat Costa Rica, their victory will not only put Italy on the verge of qualification for the last-16 but will give Roy Hodgson's side some hope of joining them as group runners-up.

And when they do that, Mario wants a kiss from the queen. Someone said he's asking for too much though. haha.

Meet The Pastor Who Says He Impregnates Married, Single & Teenagers As The Spirit Leads

Meet The Pastor Who Says He Impregnates Married, Single & Teenagers As The Spirit Leads

That's the pastor in a yellow shirt with two of the married women he impregnated

No wonder the bible says God will start his judgement right from the church. The story of the General Overseer of Vineyard Ministry in Enugu will make you laugh, but then it could have been jazz. I strongly believe he must have jazzed the women. The Pastor who has impregnated over 20 members of his church including married women, mothers and daughters said, he did it because it was a commandment from God. 

I don’t sleep with them until the spirit tells me to go ahead, he said.

But the Pastor met his waterloo when his wife couldn’t cope with the number of women and babies living in the church premises any more and wrote the police who came in and arrested him. Find the story which happened in Enugu after the cut.

The Police in Enugu State have arrested one Timothy Ngwu, the General Overseer of Vineyard Ministry of the Holy Trinity, located at Ihe/Owerre, Nsukka in Enugu State.

Before his arrest on Friday, the self-acclaimed Pastor, who said he was obeying God’s command, has put not less than 20 members of his church in a family way.

DailyPost gathered that Ngwu does not spare even married women in his devilish act.

The spokesman of the Enugu State Police Command, Ebere Amaraizu, DSP, disclosed that “the pastor claims to be obeying prophetic/spiritual injunction to do the will of God, which is to impregnate any one chosen and revealed by the Holy Spirit, irrespective of whether the woman is married or not.

“When the woman is delivered of the baby, the child remains in the ministry with the mother for life”.

Amaraizu added that “Vineyard Ministry of the Holy Trinity, located at Umudikwere, Ihe/Owere Nsukka in Enugu was not known until DSP Gloria Udoka and her operatives from the Anti Child Trafficking unit of the state criminal and investigation department, stormed the place based on the complaint they received from the wife of the Pastor, Veronica Ngwu, bordering on sexual abuse of people in the ministry, which has brought about indiscriminate pregnancy among married and single women in the ministry.

“According to Veronica, her husband used to be a well known catechist in Nsukka Catholic”.

It was further disclosed that while acting under the same alleged will of God, the Pastor got his wife’s niece pregnant.

“Some of the members’ wives are now living with him after he impregnated all of them”, the statement added.

Reacting to the allegations against him, the General Overseer stated that he has about five wives with thirteen children, apart from other concubines, who came as a result of the prophetic will of God.

He claimed that he does not do anything with any married woman until full consent and agreement is reached between him and the husband in line with the directives of the holy Spirit.

Two of the women, who had left their husband and are now living with the General Overseer, Calista Omeje, and Assumpta Odo confirmed that they left their husband and went to the General Overseer based on the prophetic injunction to do the will of God.

Calista revealed that she is married to her husband with ten children, and that she was impregnated by Timothy, though the baby later died.

She further disclosed that she also gave her daughter out to the General Overseer to be impregnated in fulfilment of the will of God.

Assumpta Odo also confirmed the development, pointing out that she is also married with eight children and that the pastor impregnated her as well as her daughter.

Source;http://ladunliadi.blogspot.com/

WORST PICK UP LINES EVER USED

An ugly woman can walk around a neighbourhood and hardly attract men's interest. However, a pretty woman, even if all covered up, will make men sprain their necks as they look over their shoulders when she swaggers by.

And you can bet that such a woman will be accosted by wayward men who don’t have a clue how to approach a woman.
Here are some of the dumb pick up lines she is likely to hear;

. Safaricom announced that today is ‘exchange the number’ day; please give me your number.

. I dreamt about you last night, please make my dream come true and come to my house.

. Your daddy must have been a terrorist, ’cause your body is the bomb.

. The only smile I have seen today is a smile from my toothless grandmother; please smile to remind me how a real smile looks like.

. Your shadow is complaining. A fine lady like you doesn’t deserve to walk alone, let me give you company.

. Just shake my hand and extend my life by a day.

. Girl, you have set me on fire, kiss me and cool me down.

. Some women were born and others came from heaven, and you are one of them. Ask me how I know.

. I don’t know what you are looking for in this neighbourhood, but whatever it is you have found it. Here I am.

. You are a goddess; I just wanna get on my knees and start pleasing you.

. You got me speaking a foreign language but when we will go home, I will take you to a foreign country.

Your finger needs a wedding ring, come to my house ‘cause I got one that belonged to my great grandmother.

Girl, you are hot, let me take you to my bed and you warm it.

I got a dishwasher and a cook; the only thing missing is a missus.

The Bible says, ‘Ask and you shall receive’. Will you give me what mama gave you?

If you were to give me a chance, you won’t keep changing your last name.

TYPES OF KENYAN MEN

Kenyan men are probably the most versatile breed of people to come into existance. They come in all shapes and sizes and have can tend to hide their true nature. When it comes to dating, this poses a hard task for women in identifying the men they are with. Here is my take on what how to spot what breed of kenyan ur with

SUPER SENSITIVE STEVE

This is the guy you dumped because he was too nice. He would carry your handbag for you, called you 5 times a day and cried when you broke up him.He probably is always talking about marriage and has already picked out baby names.  He always wants to talk about feelings and stuff. Most probably working at some boring nine to five job. U met him at some singles semminar where he was the only guy. if ur dating this guy, run! There is only room for one chic in the relationship
Plus? well, he loves cuddling
Bummer? He always uses your shampoo


BUFF BRIAN

This guy is on every imaginable steroid in the market. He is probably a gym instructor or you always find him in the gym. He wears tight fitting clothes that make him look like a ball of muscle. This guy is either a male gigolo or is always flirting with the ladies. He is the guy that ever chic has his number as the rebound guy or the booty call. Most probably unemployed and has some rich sugar mummy financing him
Plus side? he doesn't talk so much
Bummer? u always have Ur gynaecologist number on speed dial


THE IGWES

U met him at some club in westie on Friday. Probably Galileo's. He was sitting alone having a drink and checking you out. He winks at you and you wink back. The rest as they say, is history. Then begins a whirling romance with him. But wait. suddenly, you cant wear short skirt or tight clothes. U cant go out with your friends. He expects you to be home before him and have a big dinner waiting for him. He is slowly pushing for you to leave your job and to be 100percent reliant on him. This guy is still stuck in the dark ages where women were just for reproduction. This guy will insist on a traditional wedding and may even take a second wife. He expects you to get pregnant the same week you got married.
plus side? paid a nice dowry
bummer? bye bye skinny jeans




GEORGY POGGY

This guy will probably grow up to be the uncle who cannot be left home with the kids. The well know child molester. Currently, he is the class pervert who is always taking pictures of chicks asses or the guy from work who always has his hands in his pants. He is a regular at nearly all brothels. He loves hooking up with random chicks.You probably met him online. His phone is filled with naked pics and lets not even get started with his porn collection at home. He probably got fired from his last job for sexual molestation. Works in the IT profession as most perverts are IT guys.  He will bang anything in a skirt
Plus side? he can forget Ur his girlfriend and leave you a tip in the morning
Bummer? he prefers the back door

BROKE-ASS BENJI

He always forgets his wallet at home all the time the two of you go out. He borrows money from you and has not paid back even a dime. He has baby mommas front, right and center. All his money goes to the court filled child support he is paying to his baby mommas. He is a lousy dad and even lousier boyfriend. girl! Just pick up TLC hit record No Scrubs and listen to it. i swear you will have an epiphany. I am all for dating all kind of people.but seriously? He cant pay for his dinner? See ya!
plus side? he has cute babies
bummer? baby momma drama

SAMMY THE SINGLE DAD

U met him at the park with his kids. Apparently, his baby momma left him for some other guy or wasn't ready to settle down. Dating this guy is like walking on a thin rope. He is always cancelling dates. Either his sons dog died or has the flu or maybe the baby sitter cancelled. You feel like you are always competing for his attention. There is nothing much i can say about this group because our country needs great dads like him. But that doesn't mean that you are of any less importance. Evaluate yourself and analyse how much baggage you can handle.
Plus side? he ain't afraid of commitment
Bummer? his daughter hates you


THE WOMEN BASHERS
These men hate women. They see nothing good in them. They probably had a bad experience with their previous girlfriend or had mothers who abandoned them when they were little. Most of these guys are players and don't have any remorse about playing a woman. They are the kind of guys who like talking about the stuff they did with their girlfriend and refer to the women in their lives as whore or gold diggers.
Plus side? you definitely know all he is not the one
Bummer? all his pals know about secret fetish


MANNY THE MOMMA'S BOY

This guy has never had to do any work thanks to his possessive mother. He probably works at his dads company as some irrelevant position they made just for him. He goes to work once a month. To pick up his paycheck. Dating him is like raising a toddler. He leaves his clothes everywhere and wont clean up after himself. He is always having his friends over at your place. To make matters worse, his mom always checks up on him to see if he has had a regular bowel movement ever 2hours.
Plus side?you get to have your own baby. minus the stretch marks and dirty diapers
Bummer? his mom doesn't think Ur good enough for him


PAUL THE POLITICIAN

This guy knows everything about anything that is going on around the word. He thinks you are arrogant for not following up with current affairs and stuff like that. He is always talking politics and about controversial issues. He always has an opinion on everything and is the guy who always starts arguments in bars. He is either an unemployed lawyer or a former politician. He makes you miss your favourite soap opera to watch some stupid documentary about obama. This guy also tends to be quite snoopy and will put some tracking software in your phone.
Plus side? he is like a walking encyclopedia
Bummer? he is unbearable during election season


CHARLES THE CHUBBY CHASER

These are men who have a strange fetish for fat women. They will only date women past the 100kg mark. Dont laugh. These kind of men are increasing and usually try to fatten up their girlfriends. He always says stuff like, i like women with meat on their bones. I really dont get this whole weirdness.
Plus side? wont bug you about ur love handles
Bummer? he really needs therapy

MAINA KAGENI FANS

This is the lot of guys who i am really sceptical about the most. cmon! A guy who is always on the radio in the morning listening to kenyan women talking about their non-performing husbands? This is the same lot who always listens to kiss fm's rush hour dramma and are a fan of easy fms ciku's busted. They even like phoning in to give their two cents of advice. I cannot trust a man who seeks advice about women from a gay guy.
Plus side? he loves yor favourite soaps
Bummer? he is a closet gay

Source; kenyangirlsrelationshipblog.blogspot.com

The Nigerian Way (The Naija Factor)

GALLERY

Posted on May 10, 2014

In Nigeria there are three ways of doing things: The right way, the wrong way, and the Nigerian way. The sooner you learn that around this neck of the woods the better! Your particular choice would depend not so much on your nationality but rather whether or not you happen to be resident in Nigeria at the time. Yes, Nigeria has been known to make even the most principled expatriates behave in unorthodox ways. What would YOU do in the following situations?

 How to act when you arrive at a bank and meet a long queue

§  The right way – Get to the back of the queue and fall in line

§  The wrong way – Head to the front, ignoring the queue (and the hisses)

§  The Nigerian way – Persuade the person at the back of the queue to reserve the invisible spot behind him/her while you go take a seat and wait comfortably till your spot moves to the front. When you finally jump back in the queue you have witness who can testify that you actually didn’t jump the queue.

How to act when you’re driving in traffic and you want to enter another lane

§  The right way – Put on your left/right pointer, wait for a free space (though in Nigeria you’d wait forever because motorists don’t give way 90 per cent of the time).

§  The wrong way – Make a sharp entry into the lane of your choice without any prior indication for unsuspecting motorists. Warning: You must at least have third party car insurance to do this.

§  The Nigerian way – Make a puppy face to the adjacent motorist in your desired lane or better yet put your two hands together and rustle them like you’re trying to keep warm. Such gestures usually play on the emotions of the motorists who eventually give way out of pity.

How to act when you are flagged down at a (corrupt) police check point

§  The right way – Slow down to a halt, answer questions then zoom off

§  The wrong way – Zoom off (and risk getting a broken brake light)

§  The Nigerian way – Stop, engage the policeman and then tell some cock and bull story about how you haven’t got cash on you, or you go ahead and slide a couple Naira notes into his hands.

In case you still don’t quite get what it is that makes some Nigerians act the way they do I think the best thing is to pay a visit and spend at least 6 months to a get a first hand experience of what I like to call the Nigerian factor :)

DATING NIGERIAN WOMEN

There are a couple of things a man could find a bit difficult to do in life, like studying Rocket Science or learning to play the piano…like Beethoven. But something far harder that goes beyond Calculus and nimble precision is the art of dating Nigerian girls. Why are they more complex than the average non-Nigerian girl? What makes their brains tick (or get ticked off). What I intend to do next is to unravel this mystery…

<<Road map to dating Nigerian Girls>>

Confirm status >>> Evaluate background >>> Measure happiness level

•  Confirm status

When a man starts to date a Nigerian girl he needs to ascertain what stage she’s at in her life – Is she just coming out of a relationship? Is she ready for a new one? Is she sure of what she wants in the next man in her life? Is she still keeping in ‘close’ contact with her previous boyfriend? All these are pertinent questions which if left unanswered may raise issues in the long run. There is also some preliminary screening you’ll need to perform in order to be sure of what end of the spectrum your would-be Nigerian girlfriend is on;

Changeable       <     <    <    <    <  >    >    >    >    >  Unchangeable

Extroverted        <     <    <    <    <  >    >    >    >    >  Introverted

Thrifty        <     <    <    <    <  >    >    >    >    >   Materialistic

Under 30       <     <    <    <    <  >    >    >    >    >   Over 30

Lo Self-esteem <     <    <    <    <  >    >    >    >    >  Hi Self-esteem

Christian           <     <    <    <    <  >    >    >    >    >  Muslim

Church goer     <     <    <    <    <  >    >    >    >    >  Bible basher

Dates only within tribe  <     <    <    <    <  >    >    >    >    > Dates outside tribe

If a Christian young man plans to date a Muslim girl then he needs to be sure if she’s going to attend church with him or if it’s going to be TAIF! (Thank Allah It’s Friday!). If she’s over 30 and is a city-type of chick then she may just have passed her ‘submissive by’ date. The average Nigerian girl is also materialistic. Very few would stop their men from spending unnecessary amounts of money on them except if they were concerned about saving for the future. Some girls don’t have and want a guy who has. Some other girls have and want a guy who has more.

‘…why give a girl your heart when she’d rather have your purse.’ – Lil Wayne

You also need to know where she’s heading in life – Is she planning to have kids? Is she ready to relocate out of the state or country? Is she open to being a housewife? Is she ready to take a break from her career and spend quality time with the kids when they’re toddlers? Does she see herself cooking for her husband or rather employing a maid to feed him, with the occasional dining in expensive restaurants on the maid’s days off?

• Evaluate background

If the status confirmation stage is successful you might want to note a few things before accessing the ATMs. The next stage could take a while depending on how open or secretive she is or how much access you have to her FTMs (Friends That Matter). Just how important is a Nigerian girl’s background? Very.

Tradition is for most people a source of identity but to others it’s pretty much a curse; especially when certain ideals become accepted by onlookers as the norm. Some Nigerian girls from certain states have been stereotyped as being either very domesticated or stubborn or greedy or open to use of witchcraft or prone to not wanting to spend any of their money (just their partner’s). Some Nigerian tribes frown at marrying outside their own tribe. Some parents of certain tribes believe that when a man marries one of their daughters he would be expected to take up all financial obligations of her family e.g. school fees of her siblings, upkeep of the parents, and occasional soft loans for relatives. Of course when it comes to dating, with no marriage plans in the offing, then tribes tend to date other tribes. Nigerian girls formerly based in the UK or US may or may not want to date a man whose lived and stayed in Nigeria all his life. Some local Nigerian girls have been known to secretly want to fund their trip to the UK or US in order to relocate and start a new life. If that’s your cup of tea then get those VISAs ready.

“Some girls don’t have and want a guy who has. Some other girls have and want a guy who has more.”

You need to ask what principles did she grow up with? What is her definition of Love? Some Nigerian girls are very homely and grown accustomed to cooking and cleaning (for instance) in the family home. This habit tends to permeate into relationships (if the man in question has his own apartment, of course). Some other girls have been used to having a help to take care of all chores so they usually don’t dare do anything close to chores in a man’s flat. It’s not compulsory but it’s a sign of things to come. If she doesn’t ever offer to make you something and always allows you to buy takeaways then you’ll have yourself to blame by the time you’re both ‘happily’ married.

I’m afraid if you like the Westernized Nigerian girls then you’re most likely in for a power tussle in almost any form of decision-making. Such girls see themselves as your equals – you’d probably just see them as stubborn. If you’re not ready for this kind of drama then you’re better off with a girl whose respectful and willing to let you play the role of man; taking charge most (if not all) of the time. Check her attitude towards men generally and compare that to your experience. If there is no difference then make a difference by taking a walk.

<<Standard men Nigerian girls want>>

~The Aristo~

– Usually from a wealthy family and spares no expense

~The Aje Butter~

– Has been outside of Nigeria (UK or US) and is relatively comfortable money wise

~The Accessory~

– He’s great for showing off to her family, friends and maybe a few colleagues and that’s about it #youtwolookgreattogether

~The Maga~

– He’ll worship the ground she walks on and when asked to jump he will attempt to defy gravity until she tells him to come down.

•  Measure happiness level

This is probably the most important stage which must not be overlooked. It’s also the easiest to grapple with; if she is not happy with any aspect of her life up until the moment you’re dating her then what are the odds that she’ll make you happy? Some Nigerian girls are more preoccupied with making other people happy while others are more focused on making only themselves happy. Just make sure she factors your happiness into the equation before you eventually pop the big question – Will you go out with me? Okay, ‘Will you marry me’ is the big question :)

‘…you’re worrying about her and she’s worrying about hers’ – Lil Wayne

Happy dating!

source;thecrazynigerian.com

WHY I ONLY DATE KENYAN GIRLS

I have tried to date women from different cultures and have finally come to the conclusion that our Malawian women are the best. We fit like a hand and glove. We understand each other. We complement one another.

I tried to go out with a Chinese girl once. Her name, Ping Pei Ting, was from the sound made when a sufuria was dropped down the stairs before she was born. That is how Chinese name their kids. Her brother was called Chang Ding Dong because the sufuria was full of white fried rice. Anyway, Ping Pei Ting's ass was so narrow I found myself squinting just to see it. After two months of this, I took a look in the mirror and shock of shocks I had started to look Chinese! No wonder their men squint! They are trying so hard to look at their women's diabs!

I moved onto an akataa. Shaniqua was her name. She introduced me to the ways of African Americans and soon I was smoking weed, drinking 40 ounce liquors, and walking around cursing and wearing a wife beater (aka white vest). She also braided my hair in cornrows on one side, leaving the other side in an afro. I got fired from my job and now I was truly an akataa - jobless, braided, and high. She somehow convinced me that I could become a rapper. "You don't need no white man all up in your grill telling you what to do! Start rappin' nigga! That's gon' be our ticket outta the hood!" I tried to write rap lyrics in my free time and knew it was time to call it quits when she wasn't diggin my first rhyme: "Microfone cheka, Waafrika wanasumbuka, Kioko ana kwashioko, Oloo ana minyoo, Nduta ana shuta ...". That was the end of that relationship.

Next was Heather. She was a white girl that had grown up in Minnesota in a middle-class suburban neighborhood. She was a dare devil that loved the outdoors like many white people do. She introduced me to white-water rafting, paintball, mountain hiking and skiing. This was all new and exciting to me until she suggested we go bungy-jumping. I am terrified of heights and I said "Hell No!" After some cojoling on her part (plus I remembered she had helped me fix up my credit after Shaniqua had ripped it to shreds), I agreed to try it one time. A week later, I found myself dangling upside down in my underwear from a bridge with my legs bound together by the bungy cord. My pants had been torn off when a nail on the bridge hooked onto them as I made the leap of faith. It was time to pack my bags.

I tried to date a Mexican called Mariangeles. She had sneaked across the border into the US so I knew there was no way she was gonna hook me up with makaratasi but I decided to give it a shot anyway. In less than a month I found myself mowing lawns and speaking some basic Spanish with other Mexicans like "Yo quiero taco bell". She had convinced her uncle that I was a strong worker and could help with his landscaping company. Do you know this girl had me eating burritos and taking tequila shots all day with my earnings from the job? On the way from one garden to another on the back of a "Jose Chievo's Greener Grass Landscaping Co" pick-up, I knew it was time to say Hasta La Vista baby.

I tried other African nationalities too. A South African had me singing songs from Sarafina and doing the gumboot dance, a Senegalese had me smelling of fish 24/7 even when I went clubbing, an Egyptian convinced me to sell my cadillac and buy her father a dromedary camel, and a Rwandese gave me the short man syndrome - and I am 6 feet tall!

After this disastrous tour of cultures, I realized I was better off with my Kenyan women.

Source;blackknutz.blogspot.com